Eat Me!

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Who knew Jesus was a virtuoso guitarist with a dirty mind?

Jesus loves to be eaten. That somehow got confused with wafers over the centuries, so he hopes to set the record straight with his raunchy rock band.

First starting to play stringed instruments in a life lived well over a millennia before his life as the savior to the human race, Jesus claims that he is the greatest guitarist. Yes, he's dead now and in heaven, but he doesn't think that should matter. We think it does, folks, but try to reason with him on this note and you'll get nowhere. Just enjoy the music and hopefully he won't mouth off about how awesome he is with an axe.

Backed by Anüs Buttafuco and Scott Reamer on rhythm guitar and bass, respectively, Jesus formed Eat Me! to attract women. Unfortunately, with Anüs and Scott on the roster, the band is attracting a lot more of their kind of cuisine, and Jesus is getting fed up. So, if the band is renamed, Feed Me!, that's why.

What is Jesus's rock band Eat Me!? Originals, music parodies, wine, wafers, and lots of flesh. Let's hope you get the idea. But if not, just watch as Jesus slaps those A and fondles those B notes.